Constable Anita Rowland, whose son was killed and his brother paralysed in an horrific car accident, pleads for sanity on the roads. Photo: Brett Wortman

My journey of true “self discovery” didn’t start until February 28th, 2004, when one person’s decision to drive changed my life and the lives of my family and friends forever.

On that day, our 22-month-old son Jet died. Our oldest son Bailey, who was seven years old, suffered horrific injuries which included the severing of his spinal cord.

Bailey is now a paraplegic and confined for life in a wheelchair.

I suffered severe internal and orthopaedic injuries and spent nearly two months in hospital.

It has been said that the grief a parent experiences with the loss of their child is the most intense grief known.

Nothing I have ever experienced even comes close to what I felt and I would never wish that pain on any other human being.

Yet the road toll keeps climbing with more and more people dying in tragic circumstances unnecessarily.

Every time you hear that someone has died, there is a grieving family experiencing the worst grief known and about to embark on a painful journey they didn’t ask to go on.

The journey of grief you see doesn’t really end, it will continue for the rest of your life.

The person I was before the crash is gone forever and to be honest I miss “her”. I miss being carefree, relaxed and innocent to such personal heartache and devastation.

As a police officer I had experienced death and destruction but it was always someone else’s family, someone I didn’t know and would never know, not my own and therefore I could separate the tragedy from my own family.

I never properly appreciated the agony a family was going through after I had just told them their child was dead.

I saw the devastation in their eyes but didn’t understand until I was told my own son had died.

I was lost in a world of insurmountable grief.

I realised in the months and years afterwards that you have a choice in how you deal with the death of a person you love with all your heart and soul. You can choose to deal with it in a way that leaves you completely paralysed by the weight of such grief or you can chose to live your life in a way that honours their life and memory.

I chose the latter.

I remember being at Jet’s funeral and seeing his tiny white coffin being lowered into the ground and thinking “My God, how could this have happened? I was just taking them for a swim”.

I never expected a car being driven in the opposite direction to cross the motorway and collide with our car head-on.

We weren’t doing anything wrong…we were just going for a swim.

You never met my son Jet. He was born on April 9th, 2002. He was a beautiful Angelic child with platinum blonde curls and he was my little shadow.

Jet had a zest for life and a loving nature. We were having so much fun and he was becoming so  much more independent.

When he laughed, he laughed from his soul and it was contagious in a way that everyone else would start laughing.

He loved the Wiggles, Thomas the Tank Engine and ice-cream.

His life was only just beginning and he died because of a terrible choice and decision made by another driver.

I believe I am more than qualified to say that life is so very short and you need to make the most of each day you have.

You don’t know when you are going to die and you don’t know under what circumstances but there are some things you can do to help you die of old age as it should be.

I am a firm believer that the attitudes of drivers contribute to some of these tragic “accidents” we all hear about. The choices and decisions you make when you take the responsibility of driving will end in either good or bad consequences.

Drivers know that speeding is dangerous, they know that drink driving is dangerous and hooning – talking on their mobile phone, sending a text message — the list goes on and on and everyone has heard it a million times.

Yet so many people are still doing it.

I would like to ask you to consider for a moment how you would feel if because of your stupidity or selfishness you killed your best mate, a parent, brother, sister or an innocent child?

Could you sleep at night?

How man times do we hear of tragedy striking similar seemingly normal families through the ever-growing road toll?

More often than not it’s because of that very lack of duty of care for others that these “accidents” occur.

The message I am trying to send is very clear — it’s not all right, it is not acceptable and it simply can’t be tolerated any longer.

From a parent who knows what it feels like to lose a child in a car crash – please slow down; please wear your seatbelt; please don’t drink and drive; please don’t be distracted by your mobile phone or anything else and please make these decisions and choices by remembering my family’s story.

Know that our son Jet paid the ultimate price with his life because somebody didn’t put their own safety and that of other road users first.

I want you to realise just how tragedy of this proportion will affect your entire family’s lives and your ignorance to thinking you are immune has to change.

Stupid choices have deadly consequences.

-ANITA ROWLAND

Originally appeared on Sunshine Coast Daily on 23/09/2007

Jan. 4th, 2012
By: Shaun de Jager

In the last couple decades, the number of crashes on our roads has gone up drastically whilst the number of fatalities each year has fallen. You could argue that the increases in collisions are directly related to an increase in the number of vehicles on our roads, which to a point is true. The number of fatalities though has fallen, simply because automotive manufacturers have made their products more…crashable. Billions of dollars are spent each year on research & development on both ‘passive’ safety and ‘active’ safety in passenger vehicles. Manufacturers realized a long time ago that their customers are horrible drivers and therefore they needed to develop technology to help drivers survive crashes (passive safety) and better yet, avoid crashes altogether (active safety). However, hardly anything has been spent on making drivers safer. The driver is by far the most important safety feature of any vehicle and also the worst; so why isn’t the driver focused on more?

Some examples of ‘passive’ safety would be seat belts, air bags, roll cages, door impact beams and crumple zones. All designed to help you survive a crash. Whereas ‘active’ safety is the technology built into vehicles to help you avoid a crash. Such items include ABS, disk brakes, traction control and stability control. However, if drivers on our roads were safer, more skilled, aware, and trained in advanced driving techniques, nothing else would be required. Ok…life happens and people make mistakes and inevitably crashes will still occur. Nobody is perfect and acquiring the skills of professional race car drivers would be a huge personal expense to people, especially considering the tough economic times in which we live. However, if you can afford a car, insurance, gas and maintenance…you can also afford to take an advanced driving course; most are under $500 and really is the best insurance you can buy (I’m sure your friends and family would say that your life is worth more than the cost of such a course).

My main objections to all the ‘active’ safety technology being put into cars these days, is that it’s providing a false sense of security to drivers. Drivers constantly hear how great all this stuff is and how it can handle any driving situation, which is simply not true. They are tools and only assist drivers when road conditions get bad & they are designed to compensate for when drivers make mistakes (like taking a corner too quickly or when encountering slippery conditions) but they don’t allow drivers to break the laws of physics and they will only assist you to a point. They also don’t allow you to realize what the road conditions are really like. In a sense, they disconnect you from ‘feeling’ the road. My other issue is that it’s sending a message to drivers that they can continue to be complacent while driving. This is especially true when it comes to some of the newer technology popping up in cars like ‘self-parking’ systems, ‘blind-spot’ warning systems, ‘lane departure warning’ systems and rear pointing cameras (to assist you when reversing). Wait a minute…these systems actually PROMOTE bad driving habits! Personally I find this rather counter productive and a step backward instead of forward.

All this technology is worth several thousand dollars of each car sold and more and more of these systems are being installed in cars as they are further developed. Perhaps some of this huge expense should be spent on developing the driver. If every new car sold included a free advanced driving course (a cost of less than $500), our roads would be significantly safer. It could also lead to reduced auto insurance costs, personal health insurance, medical expenses, and it would certainly reduce the costs to social health care (in countries where that is applicable).

It’s way better to have a skilled, safe driver in car with no safety technology, than a lousy driver in a good, safe car with all the safety technology…every time. Safer roads start with safer drivers. So let’s start focusing on improving the driver because its money well spent.

Dec. 14th, 2011
By: Beckley Mason

Cell phones began by connecting us with the people by voice. Then came texting. The newest models now connect us with new sources from around the world, celebrities, and people’s awesome cats. The idea is that information is disseminated at a faster speed than ever before. And while cell phones are an unconscionable danger on the road, it’s possible that trend that makes them seemingly omnipresent will also help to eradicate their use on the road.

Drinking and driving was a veritable American past time until organizations like MADD came along and, along with tougher legislation, helped turn public perception of having a few and heading home. But that took generations.

Cell phones have only really been a major roadway danger for a decade or so, simply because their ubiquitous reach came with advances in technology. However people acquire and process new data far more readily today than in the 1960s, and already becoming consciously aware of the dangers cell phones present. However the laws, it would appear, aren’t moving much more quickly than Eisenhower’s hey day.

Consider the laws that regulate distracted driving. Compared to a drunk driving violation, which can result in a night in jail, fine, and suspended license, not to mention a long-term black eye on the offender’s record, cell phone driving laws are incredibly meek. While it’s true that in many states, texting while driving is a primary offense, meaning that if an officer spots someone texting, he or she doesn’t need to witness another traffic violation to pull the texter over. Most states enforce use of a handheld phone as a secondary offense. Some states, like Florida, don’t even have distracted driving laws!

All this even though texting, in its most simple terms, draws the drivers attention away from the task of steering a  1,500 pound hunk of metal.

Under some the harshest state laws, this incurs up to a $500 fine.

But people are starting to fear distracted drivers just as much drunk drivers, according to a California Office of Traffic Safety poll.

In the survey, respondents listed texting drivers and drivers on their cell phone as greater fears than speeding/aggressive drivers and drunk drivers. We don’t know if a single texting driver is more dangerous than a single drunk driver, but the perception is there.

The science backs up the percetion. Researchers from Texas A&M’s Transportation Institute actually quantified the level of distraction that texting drivers face. The results are stunning. TTI monitored how long drivers–some using cell phones, others focused– took to react to flashing lights that tested reaction times. The flashing lights were meant to represent an actual yellow or red light—or perhaps a pedestrian or cyclist unexpectedly crossing the street.

The undistracted reaction times were sharp: “a second or two.” However, when they gave the driver a cell phone, those reaction times doubled. It gets worse: texting drivers were eleven times more likely to miss the flashing warning lights altogether.

Researchers performed the TTI test in a controlled setting; drivers traveled on a clear, straight courese, eliminating variables. As the researchers stated in the full report “it is frightening to think of how much more poorly our participants may have performed if the driving conditions were more consistent with everyday, routine driving.”

Other studies have estimated that texting drivers can cover a whole football field without looking at the road.

It’s good to see that drivers are becoming aware of the dangers that texting while driving can pose. Now, the question is: when the laws will catch up?

Beckley Mason writes a Bay Area street safety advocacy blog for GJEL Accident Attorneys.

Dec. 8th, 2011
By: Shaun de Jager

In a recently published survey by the AAA, 32% of all drivers surveyed admitted that they have driven while so tired they could barely keep their eyes open. This is pretty disturbing since the 2010 studies findings showed that 16.5% of all road fatalities and 13.1% of all hospitalizations from crashes were a direct consequence of driving while drowsy.

According to the study, young drivers between the ages of 16-24, were far more likely to be involved in a ‘drowsy driving’ crash than people between the ages of 40-59. Road crashes are already the number one cause of teenage fatalities worldwide and fatigue may be more of a factor in many of those fatalities than previously realized.

Crashes involving drowsy drivers can be especially violent because when they are startled, they tend to drastically overreact, resulting with them abruptly swerving (into other vehicles, guardrails or resulting in them leaving the road entirely).

Driving while sleepy is much like drinking and driving. Your judgement, reflexes, and awareness are drastically impaired and so is your vision. Similar to having a few drinks, you may feel fine when you first climb behind the wheel but you are not aware that your judgment is already impaired due to fatigue. What you can notice is when your eye-lids start getting heavy and you notice that you’re having a hard time keeping your eyes open. That’s when you need to park somewhere and have a power nap. Even as little as 15-30min of rest can dramatically improve your ability behind the wheel and you are far more likely to make it home safely.

“Drinking and driving or driving while drowsy will both impair your driving” say PC Hugh Smith from Toronto Police Services and he gives the best and most simple advice “Stop driving if you feel sleepy”.

A few years ago, I was doing a late night drive home along a very long, straight and essentially boring and deserted stretch of highway with only the occasional other vehicle on the road. A transport truck caught my attention as I slowly caught up to it, I noticed the driver slowly drifting out of their lane or onto the shoulder and back again. Alarms went off in my head…he’s asleep! I thought to myself “what do I do about this?” and all I could think was to flash my high beams and hope the driver woke up without getting spooked and crashing. There was a bend in the road ahead and it seemed clear that the driver wouldn’t see it coming and crash anyway so I had to try. Well it worked and the driver regained control of his rig successfully negotiating the corner. I decided to stay behind him and keep an eye on him. Although I suspected he had fallen asleep, I wasn’t positive. He could have just been a sloppy driver. Until a few minutes later when he started drifting out of his lane again.

This would have been a good time to call the police but my phone was out of my reach. One thing was certain though…this driver needed to get off the road before having a massive crash. I flashed my high beams several times and once again the truck driver started driving normally again. The only thing waking this driver up was either my high beams flashing in his mirrors or when he brushed the gravel shoulder. As far as I was concerned…this was a wreck waiting to happen. Not wanting to be a part of it, I kept my distance and found once again that I had to wake up this sleepy driver by flashing my high beams. Thankfully, he finally realized that he needed to pull over and have a nap. We were just about to pass an inspection station and although he missed the entrance, he pulled to the shoulder and parked at the exit from the inspection station. Nap time for this driver. I’m sure his family and employer will never know how close this driver came to crashing that night.

Partnership Designed to Improve the Emergency Driving Skills of All TADA Members’ Customers

TORONTO, ONTARIO–(Marketwire – Dec. 1, 2011) - Today, ILR Car Control School Inc. (ILR CCS) and the Toronto Automobile Dealer Association [TADA] jointly announced a new strategic partnership designed to improve the emergency driving skills of all TADA members’ customers. ILR CCS is now the “Official Advanced Driver Training School of the TADA”.

“Customers buy vehicles for a variety of reasons”, said Todd Bourgon, Executive Director of TADA, “but there is a single undercurrent of thought that runs through every buyer; they want to be safe. Whether they are buying a multi-passenger mini-van, a small economical sub-compact or a performance sports car, each driver needs an opportunity to learn, in their own vehicle, how to best handle emergency situations when they inevitably arise. Despite all of the advanced technology that our member’s manufacturers have built into our new cars there are still many situations caused by driver error. After examining the programs that ILR CCS offers we are pleased to recommend them as the Pro-Active© Advanced driving school of choice for our TADA members and their customers”.

Click here for the full press release….

Ok…this is hardly a news flash but time and time again people in Canada seem to be caught off guard by Old Man Winter and his partner in chaos Jack Frost. Now for those of you who are fans of winter sports like skiing, snowboarding, tobogganing, or even building snow men and snow forts, I’m sure you are eagerly awaiting copious amounts of the white stuff. Driving in it though isn’t what most people would define as a ‘good time’. Personally, I enjoy driving in slippery conditions. Actually, I enjoy driving period regardless of the conditions but not everyone is comfortable driving on ice and snow, nor does everyone have the skill to do so.

Lets start off with the basics.

• Get some winter tires! They will in fact provide you with much more grip and improve your stopping distances.
• If you have ABS, make sure it’s working and that you know what it’s limits are. Sure it can help the average driver stop faster on wet and dry roads but did you know that it takes every vehicle 10 times longer to stop on ice than on asphalt and vehicles with ABS can take up to 50% longer to stop than if that vehicle did not have ABS? I bet your sales person didn’t tell you that.
• Make sure your car has no less than a half tank of gas. If you do get stranded, you will need to run the engine periodically to keep warm. Also, the more air in your tank, the more the water vapour in that air can freeze which can lead to frozen fuel lines.
• Ensure you pack some basic emergency equipment in your trunk, which may include a first-aid kit, blankets, a flashlight, candles (for warmth & light), a space blanket to help retain heat, winter grade washer fluid, extra gloves/mitts/hats, warm socks, a folding shovel, a bag of road salt or kitty litter (to throw under your tires for added grip).
• Most importantly…take a winter driving course like the one offered at www.carcontrolschool.com.

As for a few tips:

• SLOW DOWN!!! Regardless of how good your tires are or how many gadgets your car has to keep you from loosing control (ABS, traction control, stability control), they will only ‘assist’ you…not ‘save’ you. You simply can’t defy the laws of physics.
• Beware of bridges as they often ice over quickly and before the actual road does.
• If the road looks grey…it’s dry. If it looks wet, it’s either just wet or its black ice. My rule of thumb is that if the road looks wet, assume it’s black ice and drive accordingly. I would rather assume it’s ice and be proven wrong then the other way around.
• Take off your winter boots and wear sensible driving shoes. Your car will warm up fast enough to keep your feet warm. However if you drive while wearing winter boots, you will like get them hung up on the pedals or worse…apply the gas while going for the brake.
• Oh…and if you see a bunch of cars spun out or crashed on the road ahead….don’t go there! In fact…if you know the roads are really bad…stay home. Wherever you want to go isn’t worth dying for.

If you really can’t remember what it’s like in winter,
here are three of my favorite ‘icy roads’ videos.

May 12, 2011
By: Scott Marshall

I’m a pretty busy person these days. From the hours I spend at Young Drivers of Canada, to taking my kids to their activities, to spending time relaxing with my family; it fills my day, week, month and year. When I get a moment to myself, I try to take it and relax. Are you the same?

Part of the problem that keeps us busy is having to fulfill the requirements of vehicle ownership. Owning a vehicle is more than making payments, paying for insurance and putting fuel in the vehicle. It also means we have to take care of the vehicle. How well do you take care of your vehicle?

We teach our students at Young Drivers of Canada to walk around the vehicle prior to entering it to find anything that may stop us from driving away safely. This would include obvious under inflated tires, fluid leaks, dirty windows and mirrors, etc. Commercial drivers tend to do a more detailed check. They have to ensure their vehicle is working and not just object-free. Do you think it would be a good idea for all drivers to do the same thing?

On a bi-weekly basis or a monthly basis, I ensure my vehicle has proper fluid levels, proper air pressure on all tires; including the spare tire. I also inspect the outside of my vehicle to look for body damage; including stone chips and scratches. If you catch the chips and scratches early, you can touch them up with specific touch-up paint supplied by your dealership. I use Barcelona Red myself!

I also check to ensure the headlights, tail lights, signals, hazard lights, brake lights and reverse lights all work. It’s pretty easy to check the headlights, tail lights, hazard lights and signals by yourself, but how do you check your brake lights and reverse lights by yourself? I’m not suggesting you place a brick on the brake and run out to the back of your vehicle.

The easiest way is reverse in a parking space that’s in front of a glass window. Step on the brake and look to see if all brake lights are working. Then place the gear selector into reverse and look for the reverse lights to come on. Once you spot a burned out bulb, off you go to the automotive store to get your replacement bulb. No need to procrastinate on this job, regardless of how busy you are.

My student and I spotted a driver of a commercial vehicle whose brake lights were not working. We had a chance to stop beside them at a red light, so I rolled my window down to let the driver know. He said thanks, but didn’t seem too interested in knowing or even wanting to get them fixed. Why not? Didn’t they care that someone may hit them from behind because there were no brake lights to warn them, especially during a quick stop?

We must remember that even though we press the brake pedal, the lights don’t always come on. We also have to remember that some times the lights are on, but there’s nobody home.

Apr. 26, 2011
By: Scott Marshall

My ears tend to perk up when I hear anything to do with driving. Whether it’s on the TV news, people having a conversation or in print, I listen carefully to what people are saying. Sometimes I use these methods to update my knowledge of driving techniques and changes to driving laws. Sometimes, I hear things that make me laugh; kind of a pitiful laugh actually.

Locally, our police department has beefed up seatbelt awareness for all drivers and passengers. One driver that was interviewed on our local news station said “It’s an invasion of my privacy.” if he was made to wear his seatbelt. Really? What a lame excuse that was. He should have said that he was too lazy or juvenile to put it on. That would have been more honest of him.

When something in motion stops immediately, anything not restrained will continue to move in a forward motion. That would include occupants of the vehicle. It’s the driver’s responsibility to ensure their passengers are safe from start to end of the trip. They also have the responsibility to ensure they’re safe. What would their family do if they were thrown from the vehicle and injured or killed? What would their family do without them able to work and support their family; financially and emotionally? It’s a pretty selfish opinion if a driver says they won’t wear their seatbelt because it’s an invasion of their privacy.

Statistics also say that seatbelts aren’t used as much in rural areas compared to urban areas. Is this because there isn’t as much traffic? Is it because those drivers are lazy? Regardless of their reasons, it only takes a sudden stop or a swerve to make the driver lose seating position; which means loss of steering control.

A properly worn seatbelt keeps the occupant upright. It allows you to stay in control of your vehicle. If you’re thrown across your seat because you swerved to your left, good luck. Here are a few reasons to wear a seatbelt if you won’t accept the fact it can save your life. Wear it so you can avoid paying a fine. Wear one so it’s easier for rescuers to locate your body during a rescue or even wear one so your kids have a proper role model.

Whatever your reason, think about your future. Stop belonging to the “It won’t happen to me” club and take responsibility of your life, your family and your vehicle.

Don’t miss out on this great deal! First come, first served for April 23rd, 2011. This is a special blowout seat sale for only $250 (plus tax)! Don’t pass this up!

This full day course (8:30 am to 4:30 pm) consists of easy going classroom sessions alternating with driving exercises throughout the day to allow each student to put into practice new information gleaned from the classroom.

The Classroom Session will dispel many myths and misconceptions regarding driving technique and vehicle knowledge and maintenance. From the correct way to use all the controls, mirror positioning, vision training, processing information, driver psychology to our unique ProActive Driving, you will be surprised at how much there is to know about driving. We’ll also explain ABS brakes, emergency braking, tires, skid recovery and much more in these friendly classroom sessions.

The Driving Exercises are all designed to help you learn how to control your vehicle and to understand how it will react in emergency situations while developing new and important life saving driving skills. You will experience our Skid Pad, Slalom, Emergency Braking, Collision Avoidance and Emergency Lane Change driving exercises all with one of our highly experienced instructors sitting with you to guide you and give you instant feedback.

Please email ianlaw@carcontrolschool.com and tell them I sent you!